Notes from: LIFE 101 by Peter McWilliams

When life seems truly excremental, we can moan and groan, or we can--even in the midst of anger, terror, confusion, and pain--tell ourselves, "There must be a lesson in here someplace!"

"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well."

Helen Keller, proclaimed, "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." George Bernard Shaw agreed: "Life is a series of inspired follies. The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn't come every day."

Yes, we can make change, but change is very expensive and our resources are limited. Choose wisely what to change; accept the rest.

Be wiser than other people, if you can, but do not tell them so.
LORD CHESTERFIELD

Take care of yourself so you can help take care of others Use everything for your upliftment, learning, and growth

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
ROBERT FROST

And so it is with the mirror of life. You may not like all you see in the mirror, but until you look into the mirror and accept all that you see about yourself, you will not be able to make the changes (improvements) you'd like.

Experiences: Hold them very close, and let them go.

There is a story told of Edison, who made, say, 1,000 unsuccessful attempts before arriving at the light bulb. "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" a reporter asked. "I didn't fail 1,000 times," Edison replied. "The light bulb was an invention with 1,001 steps."

Mistakes are valuable if, for no other reason, they show us what not to do. As Joseph Ray told us, "The Athenians, alarmed at the internal decay of their Republic, asked Demosthenes what to do. His reply: `Do not do what you are doing now.' "

The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame.
ROD STEIGER

When entering a new situation, wouldn't it be wonderful to have an extra burst of energy? Wouldn't it be nice if our senses sharpened, our mind became more alert, and we felt a sense of increased readiness? Wouldn't it be great if we breathed a little deeper, getting more oxygen; our heart beat a little faster, getting that oxygen around our body; and our eyes widened a little, allowing us to see more clearly? Wouldn't that be a nice gift to have? That would be a Master Teacher worth welcoming, right? Well, we have that gift already. It's called fear.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
JIMMY BRESLIN

Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.
H. L. HUNT

When people say to me: "How do you do so many things?" I often answer them, without meaning to be cruel: "How do you do so little?" It seems to me that people have vast potential. Most people can do extraordinary things if they have the confidence or take the risks. Yet most people don't. They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever.
PHILIP ADAMS

The great aim of education is not knowledge but action.
HERBERT SPENCER

If you sit back and say you're committed, but wait for conclusive proof before you act, little is likely to happen. It's called "playing it safe." I don't recommend that game. Not only is it ineffective and demoralizing, it's already being played by people who are absolute masters at it. The field, in fact, is over crowded. You'll have to study long and hard to beat them at that game.

The best comparison between effectiveness and efficiency I've heard is this: Efficiency is getting the job done right . Effectiveness is getting the right job done. While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.
HENRY C. LINK

It's Not That People Plan to Fail, They Just Fail to Plan

Lack of money is the root of all evil.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

To receive, for give. To get, for get.

Heal the memories. Forgive the past. Then forget it. Let it go. It is not worth remembering. None of it's worth remembering. What's worth experiencing is the joy of this moment. Blaming the past is like blaming gravity for the glass you broke. Yes, without gravity, the glass would not have fallen. But you know about gravity and you know about glasses and you know what happens when you combine gravity, a falling glass, and a hard surface.

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.
JOHN WAYNE

Increasing your self-esteem is easy. You simply do good things, and remember that you did them .

Balance is the point between the extremes. But it's not a static point--"I've found it; this is it!" The point is always shifting, always moving. A successful life can be like a successful tightrope walk. Sometimes the balance pole dips violently one way, sometimes it dips gently the other, and sometimes it's perfectly still.

Notes from: YOU CAN'T AFFORD THE LUXURY OF A NEGATIVE THOUGHT by Peter McWilliams

Habit with him was all the test of truth, "It must be right: I've done it from my youth."
GEORGE CRABBE

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.
FRANK TIBOLT

Negative thinking must be treated like any addiction--with commitment to life, patience, discipline, a will to get better, forgiveness, self-love, and the knowledge that recovery is not just possible but, following certain guidelines, inevitable. Most people live, whether physically, intellectually or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their soul's resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole bodily organism, should get into a habit of using and moving only his little finger. Great emergencies and crises show us how much greater our vital resources are than we had supposed.
WILLIAM JAMES

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come.
VICTOR HUGO

Great men are they who see that spiritual is stronger than any material force, that thoughts rule the world.
EMERSON

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT

You have no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself-- and how little I deserve it.
W. S. GILBERT

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached.
SIMONE WEIL

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
LONGFELLOW

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

I don't think suicide is so terrible. Some rainy winter Sunday when there's a little boredom, you should always carry a gun. Not to shoot yourself, but to know exactly that you're always making a choice.
LINA WERTMULLER

We are wide-eyed in contemplating the possibility that life may exist elsewhere in the universe, but we wear blinders when contemplating the possibilities of life on earth.
NORMAN COUSINS

To deny the reality that pain hurts only delays the healing process. Take the time to grieve, to mourn, to say a good good-bye. At the point of genuine understanding and acceptance of your own death (not just a mentally constructed understanding and acceptance) lies the ability to understand and accept the magnificence of life.

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.".
W. H. MURRAY THE SCOTTISH HIMALAYAN EXPEDITION

You may not know fully how to do that yet, but "hows" are just methods. When the commitment is clear, an intention rises from that commitment, and the methods appear. Rather than tell yourself, "I don't know how to fully live my life, so I can't commit," commit yourself to life and then set about discovering how to live. All this can be summed up in one of my favorite phrases: "The willingness to do creates the ability to do." Be willing to live your life fully. The ability, methods, behaviors, and opportunities to do this will appear.

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
NORMAN COUSINS

Avoid People and Situations That Upset You Those things, people, situations, and experiences you don't like- -avoid them. Stay away. Walk away. Do something else. Some might call this cowardly. I call it smart. The world is brimming with things, people, and experiences. We will never experience all of them if we live to be 10,000. So why not associate with the ones that naturally please you?

In any given moment, there is ample evidence to prove that life is a bed of thorns or a garden of roses. How we feel about life depends on where we place our attention, that is, what we focus upon.

Did you ever notice that every time you are given a rose, the stem is covered with thorns? (If you take the thorns off, the flower wilts more quickly. Florists know this, which is why they leave the thorns on.) Do you say, "Why are you giving me this stick with thorns on it?" Of course not. You admire the beauty of the rose. Even if you prick yourself in your enthusiasm, it never seems to hurt--you are too engrossed in appreciating the rose and the person who gave it to you.

Right now, in this moment, without moving from where you are, you can find ample evidence to prove your life is a miserable, depressing, terrible burden, or you can find evidence to prove your life is an abundant, joyful, exciting adventure.

Is there a "cure" for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
MISS PIGGY

There is a story told of a Master who saw a dead dog decaying in the road. His disciples tried to keep the unsightly animal from him, but the Master saw the unfortunate animal and said, "What pearly white teeth." Even amid stench and decay, there was still something beautiful to behold.

The Master did not--as some positive thinkers might--say the dog was "only sleeping." The Master did not throw a stick and say, "Here, Rover, fetch!" The Master first perceived the reality and then found something good about it.

"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and shoot down the middle."

It's time for you to make a choice. The choice I'm talking about is The Big Choice--to live or to die ("To be or not to be").

The problem is, there's a Catch-22 in making that kind of choice.

If deep down inside you no longer want to continue living--for whatever reasons--consciously knowing this can help you avoid a great deal of confusion, torment, and anguish. If you've put yourself on a plane headed for Cleveland, there's no point complaining to yourself and others, "I don't want to go to Cleveland."

If you have chosen to die, avoiding negative thinking is still important. Negative thinking contaminates "the moment," and between now and your death, you might as well enjoy every moment.

The irony is that when people finally "give up" and do appreciate the moment, they often realize that life can be a wonderful place. They see it wasn't life itself, but their reaction to life that was causing the disease.

Then they sometimes begin a negative-thinking pattern of "I don't want to die after all," which, once again, pollutes the moment, which makes life less livable, so why live anyway, so I might as well die.

Other people, when asked, "Do you want to live or die?" say--at once and with great emotion--"I want to live!" These people may then spend so much time struggling against death that life becomes an agonizing battle, and some part of them again says, "Why bother?"

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN

Can you see, then, the Catch-22 involved in a once-and-for-all decision to live or to die?

The decision to live or to die is not one that can be made once, and that's that. It is to be made in each moment. And that decision is demonstrated by action.

If you are taking part in life-destroying activities, wallowing in misery, and indulging in negative thinking, then-- no matter what you say--I'd say you were, in that moment, choosing to die.

If you ask yourself in this moment, "Do I want to live or die?" I say, "Look at what you're doing, feeling, and thinking for the answer."

Are you doing all you can for your health, happiness, and positive focus? And are you doing it with an attitude of, "This will make me healthier, happier, and more positive," or are you moaning, "If I don't do all this damn healthy stuff I'm gonna die and I don't want to die so I'll do it"?

Take a frequent look at your thoughts, feelings, and activities. Set an alarm to go off at regular intervals-- every hour, say. No matter what you're doing when the alarm goes off, stop and take an honest look at where you are and what you've been doing--mentally, emotionally, and physically--since the last alarm sounded.

If it's been life-supporting, joyful, and positive--congratulate yourself. If it hasn't you can "course-correct." Commercial aircraft, flying over water, are off course 95 percent of the time. Nevertheless, they still get to where they're going. The onboard navigational system is continually making infinitesimal course corrections. You can get to your goals this way, too--even if you're "off course "the vast majority of the time.)

If your evaluation of the interval between alarms indicates some negativity--don't be surprised, don't get upset, just change it.

Start now. We often form a habit of procrastination. Yes, we put off unpleasant activities, but we also tend to put off the enjoyable ones, too. We dole out pleasure, contentment, and happiness as though they were somehow rationed. The supply of these is limitless (as, by the way, is the supply of misery, pain, and suffering). We do the rationing ourselves.

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
NIETZSCHE

The goal of the process is to strengthen your intention to live--not necessarily to live for a certain numbers of years, but to live life fully in each moment.

Conquering negative thinking may require some major changes, not just mental ones, but emotional and physical ones as well--what is generally known as your lifestyle. You may have to change your job, where you live, the city in which you live, friends, clothes, habits, all sorts of things.

If you're in a rut, if you've grown accustomed to tolerating intolerable situations, change may not be comfortable and change may not be easy. It takes courage to take an honest look at one's life, discover what's no longer working, and then change it. Mark Twain reminds us, "Courage is mastery of fear--not absence of fear."

Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn. GORE VIDAL

Applaud freedom wherever it may appear. Learn to praise the idiosyncrasies, the eccentricities, the quirks, and the singularities of others. It will help you to praise your own.

If you have a life-threatening illness, regaining your health is Job #1. Until Job #1 is done, everything else is just filler.

If you want to be happy, keep all of your commitments--and don't expect other people to keep any of theirs.

If you keep in mind that you can't have everything you want, here's how to get anything you want:

There. That's it. How to get anything you want.

A purpose is not something you create; it's something you discover.

Once you know your purpose, it becomes a golden divining rod. When you're wondering, "Should I do this or should I do that?" look to your purpose. If one action is in line with your purpose and the other is not, the choice of which way to move becomes clear. If neither is in line with your purpose, look for more options. If both are in line with your purpose, it's dealer's choice.

The secret of success is constancy to purpose.
BENJAMIN DISRAELI

It's a good idea to keep your purpose to yourself. This keeps it powerful and prevents comments such as, "You don't seem such like a joyful giver to me!" Keeping your purpose private also removes the temptation to choose a purpose that will impress others.

When you bring yourself more in line with your purpose--in an involved, active way--you may notice your energy flows more freely, the blocks and the tensions in your body release, you become more active, vibrant, and alive--healthier.

When you get right down to the root of the meaning of the word "succeed," you find it simply means to follow through.
F. W. NICHOL

Be response-able. Be willing to respond to whatever happens along your path. Don't fall into the negative- thinking trap of labeling certain occurrences "setbacks," "disappointments," or "letdowns." Consider them, instead, challenges. Respond to them in such a way that you get what you want. That's response-ability.

Ask. Learn to ask for what you want. Ask for help, guidance, instruction--whatever you need. The worst people can do is not give you what you ask for--which is precisely where you were before you asked.

If You're Not Actively Involved in Getting What You Want, You Don't Really Want It

There is no failure except in no longer trying.
ELBERT HUBBARD

I'm pragmatic. If someone tells me, "I'm dependable! You can count on me," I say, "Great," and watch carefully. If she (in the last example I used he; this time I'll use she) is late three times in a row, but continues to say she's dependable, I tend to base my opinion of her dependability more on her actions than on her words. Not that she means to deceive. She may, however, be deceiving herself.

Do whatever is necessary to reach the goal. Eliminate from your schedule activities that support goals with lower priorities than the one in question. As you move toward your goal, certain mental, emotional, and physical objections will be raised. No matter what complaints your mind, emotions, and body fling at you, if you know you need to do it, do it anyway. Gently, lovingly--but firmly--teach the objecting parts of you that you have a new goal, a new priority, and that your actions will now be in alignment with achieving that goal.

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
FRANCIS BACON 1624

There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing-- but we all do and call it Hope.
EDGAR WATSON HOWE

When you use the word hope, ask yourself, "Am I using it as a replacement for action or as an adjunct to action?" If it's a replacement, get moving. If it's an adjunct, keep moving.

One of the greatest forms of service is allowing others to serve you. When you let others give to you, you are giving them the gift of good feelings, strengthened physiology, and enhanced self-worth.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
ELBERT HUBBARD

When challenged by a situation you're not quite sure how to respond to, ask yourself, "How would a Master handle this?"

No man is a failure who is enjoying life.
WILLIAM FEATHER

Fill your life with people who applaud your positive thoughts, feelings, and actions; who encourage you toward more and better; who know how to praise the good and the beautiful.

As I said before, you don't have to spend time with people you don't want to. If you choose to spend time with them, you're entitled to set the rules. "I don't want to discuss negative things." If they don't like it (and they probably won't), they're entitled to go elsewhere and spend time with people who do.

If there are people you feel you must spend time with (usually relatives), (a) try to do it on the phone, and (b) use the time with them to learn something about yourself. Watching how other people negate and sabotage themselves can provide you with a blueprint of how you may be doing it to yourself. You don't have to get negative about their negativity.

In some cases, far less than a century ago: Before the discovery of stable penicillin in 1941 and its widespread manufacture after World War II, pneumonia killed more people than any other complication. People would have a simple disease or accident, develop pneumonia, and die. Alexander the Great, the most powerful man of his day, died of pneumonia. King Henry VIII, the most powerful man of his day, died of syphilis. Since penicillin, deaths in the Western world from pneumonia have dropped significantly, and syphilis deaths are almost not measurable (according to The World Almanac, 0.0 percent).

Although the remarkably expanded life span of human beings over the past two hundred years is more thanks to plumbing and transportation than medicine (carrying away refuse and adding fresh fruits and vegetables to the daily diet have done more to lengthen the life span than anything else),any number of formerly "incurable" diseases and maladies are now routinely cured.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
DAMON RUNYON

No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.
MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT SHELLEY

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle.
JANE AUSTEN

If we learn something, but it doesn't lead to a change in behavior, then we haven't really learned it. It's still a concept. It may be a nice concept, a well-thought-out and brilliantly described concept--but a just concept nonetheless. When genuine learning takes place, so does a corrective action. If we say, "Yes, we understand hammers are to be used for hanging pictures, not smashing frames," and we continue to smash frames, we haven't learned. We merely comprehend. To become truly accountable, one must be willing to take corrective action.

The price of greatness is responsibility.
SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL

Guilt is anger directed at ourselves. We get angry with ourselves for something we should have done or shouldn't have done. It accumulates over time. Our self-punishment becomes worse with each repeated occurrence. ("I should have known better!")

Fear steps in. We become afraid of situations in which we might fail to live up to our personal expectations. We're afraid of what we might do to ourselves if we fail again. We're afraid of our own anger.

We avoid new people, situations, activities. We settle into a predictable rut, and then feel guilty we aren't doing more for ourselves. Some people become immobilized with guilt, afraid of doing anything lest they disappoint themselves again.

This cycle of negative energy--from ourselves to ourselves--can have devastating effects. It poisons relationships, inhibits growth, stifles expansion. And it hurts. It can become self-hatred. It puts enormous stress on the mind, emotions, and body.

The New England conscience doesn't stop you from doing what you shouldn't; it just keeps you from enjoying it.
CLEVELAND AMORY

To prove we're good, we punish ourselves with guilt. This allows us to maintain the image that we are all of those wonderful things. By feeling guilty, we're saying, "I did it this time, but I'll never ever do it again. See how much this hurts me? I don't want to hurt this bad again. So I promise, cross my heart and hope to die, I'll never ever do it again."

Guilt allows us to pretend something is true about ourselves that, based on results, isn't. It lets us maintain an inaccurate image about ourselves, an image that does not match our actions.

MAE WEST: For a long time I was ashamed of the way I lived.
"Did you reform?"
MAE WEST: No; I'm not ashamed anymore.

Life teaches us to be less harsh with ourselves and with others.
GOETHE

1. Breaking the guilt cycle gives us a more realistic view of ourselves and humanity in general. One of the values of the "tell-all" biographies is that they let us see that good people--great people--who have accomplished laudable, extraordinary things, are human beings, too. We all have a full complement of quirks, foibles, preferences, habits, lusts, and temptations. Sometimes they serve us; sometimes they don't. And so what? It's the human condition. Nothing to get upset about.

2. It lets us set more reasonable goals. So we eat a piece of chocolate cake now and again. So we don't lose three pounds a week. Maybe we lose only one pound a week. That's still 52 pounds a year. We can take it easier on ourselves, taking time for what we once called "failure" and now call "diversion."

3. It lets us do things that are truly important. By not kidding ourselves and cluttering up the daily "agenda for action" with pipe dreams, we can focus more clearly and with greater determination on the truly important tasks at hand. If our mind is not cluttered with twenty or thirty things we "should" be doing, it's easier to do the two or three things that really must be done.

Freeing yourself from guilt is a gradual progression. Guilt, for most people, is an automatic response. When it goes off--and it will--please don't feel guilty about feeling guilty

Hating people is like burning your own house down to get rid of a rat.
HARRY EMERSON FOSDICK

Resentment and guilt are the same. With guilt, we don't live up to the images we have about how we should be; with resentment, other people don't live up to our images about how they should be.

The problem is, of course, the anger. Almost invariably, it does more harm to us than to the people we're mad at. Earlier I quoted, "The love I give you is secondhand--I feel it first." The same is true of hate.

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
ALFRED ADLER

When you realize that your resentment is based not on others' actions, but on your reactions to their actions, it's a day for celebration.

Put yourself on a one-minute time delay. Give yourself sixty seconds to cancel an order before the scribe within you hears, "So let it be written, so let it be done."

Alas, I know if I ever became truly humble, I would be proud of it.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?
ROBERT BROWNING

Acceptance is realizing that to do other than accept is (a) painful and (b) futile.

The sculptor begins by accepting the block of marble as it is, and then removes everything that isn't a statue. When asked how to sculpt a horse, one artist explained, "I see the horse in the stone; then I take away everything that is not the horse."

The "natural" part of us thinks the Fight or Flight Response is terrific. Eons of genetics have told it so. We now must gradually convince "it" that the Love and Acceptance Response is more valuable for our survival as an animal.

There is no good in arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat.
JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL

Learn to accept even your lack of acceptance. Yes, it gets funny, and it certainly can be fun. That's one of the keynotes of acceptance: a sense of lightness. As you accept the heaviness, you begin to feel "the unbearable lightness of being." Accept that, too. No: welcome it.

Schedule acceptance breaks throughout the day. Give yourself an acceptance break right now. Accept everything around you, everything inside you, everything about everything. Accept your thoughts. Accept your thoughts about your thoughts. Accept your thoughts about your thoughts about your thoughts. Accept whatever feelings you have, the sensations in your body. Don't try to change any of it--trying to change is a form of nonacceptance.

To become the spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life.
OSCAR WILDE

If you want to change positions, don't. Just observe the desire to change positions. If you have an itch, don't scratch it. Observe the itch. Your mind, body, and emotions may throw little--and sometimes not so little-- temper tantrums. Observe the tantrums. Observe the inner kicking and screaming. These (or the fear of these) may be what has controlled you for some time. Gain authority over them. You gain authority by doing none of the actions they demand you do. Just sit and observe.

Realize that, right now, everything is the way it "should" be, and when later comes, everything will be" perfect" then, too.

What is patience? Enjoying the moment. How does one enjoy the moment? By being patient. An endless loop? Sure. And you can jump in at any point.

Altitude is our viewing point, our perspective. The higher our viewing point, the more we can see. The more we can see, the more information we have. The more information we have, the better we can make well- informed decisions.

When the question arises, "Shall I think negatively about this moment or not?" I maintain that, with enough altitude, your spontaneous response will be "not."

Have you ever been in a situation that seemed awful at the time, but eventually led to something wonderful? If you knew, at the time, that the bad situation would eventually lead to a much better one, would you have wasted all that energy feeling bad about it? Probably not.

What if all situations in life were like that? What if there were a reason behind all movement, a plan behind the action? What if, with sufficient altitude, you could see the plan? Not necessarily the way in which every detail will come to pass--what a dull life it would be if we knew precisely what the future held--but more a general sense that "something good will come from this."

Attitude is the way we approach things--our point of view. Do you look at life as an adventure to be enjoyed, or a problem to be solved?

I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse.
CHARLES V

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN

It's good to be just plain happy; it's a little better to know that you're happy; but to understand that you're happy and to know why and how and still be happy, be happy in the being and the knowing, well that is beyond happiness, that is bliss.
HENRY MILLER

Always forgive your enemies-- nothing annoys them so much.
OSCAR WILDE

Here is a mental treatment guaranteed to cure every ill that flesh is heir to: sit for half an hour every night and mentally forgive everyone against whom you have any ill will or antipathy.
CHARLES FILLMORE

Notes from: DO IT! Let's Get Off Our Buts by Peter McWilliams

I was going to make sure that this chapter was so informative, so readable, and so wonderful that if you were reading it in a bookstore, you'd buy the book, or, if you were reading it in a library, you'd check it out, or, if you were reading it at home, you'd decide, "Boy, I'm certainly going to enjoy reading this book!" but I decided to watch this movie on TV last night, and I was going to work on the chapter afterward, but then I went out for ice cream, and I was tired, and decided to start fresh in the morning, but then I slept late, and then I went out for breakfast and took a drive past an aquarium and decided to stop in, then I went for lunch, and then thought I'd take a nap and start fresh in the evening, but then I started watching a documentary on TV, then, of course, it was time for dinner, then I was invited to the movies, and I don't want to be rude to my friends, and besides I sort-of wanted to see the movie anyway, then I was going to go right back and work on this chapter, but then I remembered how good the ice cream was the night before . . .

Do or do not. There is no try.
YODA

It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.
SALLY KEMPTON

Someone once described FEAR in an acronym: False Expectations Appearing Real. Fear breeds lack of experience; lack of experience breeds ignorance (ignore -ance); ignorance breeds more fear. It is a vicious circle.

Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.
MICHAEL PRITCHARD

Anytime we let unreal fears (and that includes untested fears) keep us from moving toward our dreams, it is a form of madness.

Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut.
DANIEL S. GREENBERG

It's hard to imagine anything more pernicious--and effective--than discouragement. Discouragement promotes inaction, and inaction guarantees failure--a life of not living our dreams.

Baby elephants are heavily chained to stakes driven deep in the ground. Pull as they might, they remain firmly tethered. Soon, the baby elephant becomes discouraged and stops pulling. It learns to stay put. Over time, the trainer uses lighter and lighter restraints. Eventually, a small rope attached to a stick barely anchored in the earth is sufficient to stop a fully grown elephant from moving. In a sense, discouragement makes us all like elephants. Although we, as adults, have the power we didn't have as children to pursue our dreams, discouragement keeps us from using it.

I've always thought that the stereotype of the dirty old man is really the creation of a dirty young man who wants the field to himself.
HUGH DOWNS

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
DARIN WEINBERG

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
BENJAMIN DISRAELI

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals; I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. WHITNEY BROWN

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN

Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards.
R. A. DICKSON

Fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, and anger are, in fact, tools . Tools are neutral - they can be used either for us or against us. A knife can be used to heal or to hurt. A hammer can be used to build or to destroy. It is not the tool itself, but the way the tool is used that determines its benefit or detriment.

Fear Is the Energy to Do Your Best in a New Situation

The great French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, "In that case, there is no time to lose; plant it this afternoon!"
JOHN F. KENNEDY

Deadlines help us get things done. Deadlines get us going, moving, and motivate us to do things sooner rather than later. There's no greater--or more certain--deadline than death.

Death encourages action. We only have so much time left, so let's get going.

Death encourages risk. The worst of the downside in any risk is death. Since we're going to die anyway, why not take the risks that make life more exciting, enjoyable and, well, alive?

Death reminds us how much we owe the past and the future. Those who went before us knew they wouldn't be here forever, and yet they left us a rich legacy. We, too, have many gifts to leave the generations yet unborn.

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. They can be no courage unless you're scared.
EDDIE RICKENBACKER

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

The ancestor of every action is a thought.
EMERSON

The key is awareness . At this point, simply be aware of the comfort zone and its effect on you.

While goals are chosen, a purpose is discovered.

The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES

One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
ANDR GIDE

Keeping your purpose to yourself is not so much secret as it is sacred . Consider it a beautiful plant. Keep the roots (the essence of the purpose) deep within yourself, and let the world share in its fruits.

When you ask some people why they're not living their dream, they usually respond with a listing of unavailable methods: not enough money, looks, information, contacts, breaks, and so on. All these are just methods. Excuses of not having them may sound rational, but are, in reality, rational lies. Most people let their methods decide their intentions. This is a fundamental mistake. Those who look at what they already have before selecting what they want are involved in making do, not doing.

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.
ALEXANDER SMITH

The narrower your goal--and the more fully you supply that goal with your time, energy, and resources--the farther you'll go and the faster you'll get there. Think of a rocket. All its energy is pinpointed in one direction, and it can zoom off to distant planets.

Make a list of your accomplishments. Note how much you have done, how much you have created--and how much more is available to you in the future. Without regretting anything, imagine what you could have achieved if all these accomplishments had been pointed in a single direction--if all this creative energy had been directed toward fulfilling your heart's desire. Again: no regrets. Don't look out the past and say, "What a waste." As Katherine Mansfield said, "Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in."

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.
HARRY EMERSON FOSDICK

The man who tried his best and failed is superior to the man who never tried.
BUD WILKINSON

If we choose, we may lose, but if we don't choose, we almost certainly lose.

If you want a quality, act as if you already had it. Try the "as if" technique.
WILLIAM JAMES

The solution? Plan to be uncomfortable. Understand that it's a necessary part of success. Learn to be comfortable with discomfort. Have compassion for the part of you that's growing. The first step is a willingness to be uncomfortable.

One of the best ways to properly evaluate and adapt to the many environmental stresses of life is to simply view them as normal. The adversity and failures in our lives, if adapted to and viewed as normal corrective feedback to use to get back on target, serve to develop in us an immunity against anxiety, depression, and the adverse responses to stress. Instead of tackling the most important priorities that would make us successful and effective in life, we prefer the path of least resistance and do things simply that will relieve our tension, such as shuffling papers and majoring in minors.
DENIS WAITLEY

Distractions do not bring satisfaction. A distraction is anything not on the way to our goal that consumes our time, thoughts, or energy.

If A is success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X, Y is play, and Z is keeping your mouth shut.
ALBERT EINSTEIN

Keep attainments to yourself. ("Be smart, but never show it," advised Louis B. Mayer.) Keep problems to yourself as well. ("You can't tell your friend if you've been cuckolded." wrote Montaigne. "Even if he doesn't laugh at you, he may put the information to personal use.")

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.
FRANK TIBIAL

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
THOMAS EDISON

You can't build a reputation on what you're GOING to do.
HENRY FORD

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
CALVIN COOLIDGE

We are here on earth to do good to others. What others are here for, I don't know.
W. H. AUDEN

As we're playing this game of life, something occasionally reminds us not to take it all too seriously. "Enjoy yourself," it says, "you'll never get out of this alive." It's called humor.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations.
VICTOR BORGE