MENTAL ENVIRONMENTAL ENGINEERING

Set daily priorities starting with the most important
Count on tasks taking longer than expected
Assume you won't have time/energy for it later.
Break down complex tasks into manageable parts
Keep your mission specific, and focus on one task at a time
The only reason to compete is to improve yourself
Recognize the psychological cost/benefit of an activity.
Don't take clear-headedness and energy for granted. Use it now to take care of what you can't when you're sunk and tired.
Keep journals/ lists to make decisions more conscious
Reward a move in a constructive direction - no matter how slight - then you will associate positive things with such choices
Only engage in rewarding/pointless behavior when you have decided ahead of time how long you will do it for.
Valid behaviors become destructive when we use them to avoid the discomfort of facing other things we need to do.
Some shame is healthy. It makes us feel uncomfortable for being less than we want to be.
Grieving is: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

Obstacles are an opportunity to gain confidence
Take small risks everyday
Courage is acting with fear
If you act as if you're confident, your confidence will grow
What message does your appearance convey

Trying to be too perfect
Taking on too much
Not saying what you want
Suppressing anger
Reasoning with irrationality
Telling little lies
Giving advice
Rescuing others
Protecting those in grief

Anger is not attractive
Co who angers you conquers you
When you apologize - you are in control
Vent and forgive
Accept the fact that you are angry
Borrow time to gather your composure
Create the necessary distance (ex: I'm not sure what's going on, but I feel hurt and angry and I need time to calm down. I'd like to talk about this later)
Decide what you'll say and write it down
Express anger directly to those who violate you
Talk first about your fear
Describe the offense, how it made you feel and why
Tell those who made you angry what you want from them

It is a put-down of others
It is a form of control
They need us to let them decide what to do

It doesn't work
It prolongs their destructive behavior
It perpetuates dependence on us
It harms us

Never criticize what cannot be changed
Choose a proper time and place
Reassure
Be specific
Express confidence that co can correct the mistake
Praise improvement

Focus on criticism only (the issue and not the emotion)
Find its value
Evaluate
Thank critic

Give me your time
Listen to me without making me feel judge
Remind me I have strengths
Help me heal when I'm hurting
Tell me the truth when it will help me, and don't when it won't
Show it's important I feel secure, comfortable, and at ease
Show you're sorry when you hurt my feelings
Don't abuse me
Make small surprises for me
Encourage me to tell you the truth

Show a real interest
Say other person's name
Agree heartily; disagree softly
If you're talking - you're not learning
Don't correct or change the subject

Call time out to calm down
Generate empathy for your attacker by reflecting and validating feelings back
Express sorrow about co's pain
Request a fair hearing
If necessary create a climate to agree to disagree

Acknowledge the primary problem is yours
Begin with specific fear that inhibits you from telling the truth
Decide what are better circumstances for truth telling
Communicate respect

Can you really explain to a fish what it's like to walk on land
One day on land is worth a thousand years of talking about it.
You people paid 50 cents to look at a fool, but I got 50 dollars to look at a house of fools.

You can only see your psychological self in the reflections of your behaviors.
Use a coin flip for minor decisions you have indecision about.
Make Discipline a Game: If you do not do as you promise yourself: pay money into a penalty fund (like buying gifts for others)
Get Clear on Your Purpose
Respect other People's Time as Well as Your Own
Carry Tasks Through to Completion
Record Successful Decisions to Remind Yourself of them
Practice Saying No: Realize People Respect Strength (and understand it takes strength to ask for help)
Play a Mental Endurance Game of seeing how long you can think only positive thoughts
Create a list of 10 enjoyable things to do instead of eating
Stay Connected to the Passion behind your objective
Who Seeks to be Understood Must first Understand

Reduce Stress

Take care of yourself The best way to relieve stress is to live a healthy lifestyle. That includes good exercise, regular and adequate sleep and balanced meals. The reason why these three things work? Aerobic exercise helps burn off the excess energy that stress can produce. Sleep helps us tackle problems in a refreshed state. And good nutrition, including fruits, vegetables and lots of water, keeps your body tuned and strong.
Manage your time Set realistic goals and deadlines and plan projects accordingly. Do "must do" tasks first. Schedule difficult tasks for the time of day when you are most productive. And finally, tackle easy tasks when you feel low on energy or motivation.
Take time off Take a vacation or a long weekend. During the day, take short breaks to stretch, walk, breathe slowly and relax. Also, learn to set your limits and, when necessary, say "no" to additional tasks in a friendly but firm manner.
Choose your battles Don't argue every time someone disagrees with you. Save your argument for things that really matter.

Five keys to optimal sleep

Rise and shine. Spending a few minutes in the early morning sun helps your biological clock align itself with the cycles of nature. Bright morning light stimulates the release of serotonin, the hormone of wakefulness, and helps the brain reduce levels of melatonin, the sleep hormone.
Have your evening meal early. Finish your evening meal by 6 or 6:30 p.m. so your body's digestive processes can be at rest when you go to bed. If you need to change your meal times earlier in the day to do this, then work backward accordingly.
Go to bed at 10 p.m. Your body was designed to sync with the cycles of nature -- including daylight and darkness -- with the optimal time for sleep falling between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. If you're in the habit of staying up much later than 10 p.m., begin getting up progressively earlier by a few minutes each morning, over several days. This will make it easier to go to bed earlier in the evening until you reach your target.
Reduce stimulants. If you find it difficult to get to sleep around 10 p.m., try cutting stimulants out of your diet -- particularly caffeine products like coffee, chocolate and black tea -- even in the morning. These take a long time to be eliminated from your body, and their effects can linger into the evening.
Quiet your mind. If your body is tired but your mind is active, try meditation or prayer. But don't make it hard work; use a simple and gentle form, such as repetition of a thought or phrase, or just focus on following your breath in and out. Relaxation music is another excellent way to soothe an anxious or active mind.